Emmett Cullen: How To Annoy Edward Cullen
by AriMax98
Summary: Emmett is bored and an idea comes to his mind...


Me: I think I'm gonna have fun here. No, I do not hate Edward, yes, I hate Jacob, and yes, I like cake. XD. I don't own Twilight. If I did, then let's say that there would be a sixth book. And I have to say that some ways here are inspired from other stories. Enjoy!

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Emmett was dead bored. Why couldn't he do anything? 'Man…Alice is playing chess with Jasper, Rose is tuning her BMW again, Bella is reading 'Weathering Heights' for the 1000th time, Esme is busy with her blueprints, Carlisle is busy in his office listening to an odd song and Edward's playing the piano. What the hell can I do on this boring day? I can go to Rose and help her…never mind, I'd break her car. Hmm…' Emmett thought. 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and it goes like this: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and it goes like this: that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and it goes like this: that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and it goes like this: that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and it goes like this: I know a song that gets on every-' but Emmett's thoughts were cut off by a very pissed Edward in his room. Heck, even his face was red!

"Hey bro! What'cha doing in my room?" Emmett asked at the pissed Edward.

"I'm here to tell you to shut the fucking hell up or Bella will pulverize your new PS3." He growled.

"Why? I'm just thinking of a song," Emmett said defensively. Then it hit him. The song in his head annoyed the shit out of Edward if it went over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and-

"SHUT UP EMMETT!!!" Edward screamed, holding his head as if he was trying to prevent Emmett's thoughts from entering. "Oh, I see. Sorry bro, I forgot you can read every mind in the world except for Bella's." he said.

"You bet you're sorry," Edward said. "'Cause if you annoy me to my limit, which you almost did, then let's say that your PS3 is going to Play Station heaven." He said. Emmett shivered.

"Ok, ok, I promise I won't think it! Just don't kill my PS3. I got a new house in the 'Sims'." Emmett said, and then Edward left the room, shaking his head.

'Man…Edward's a hot head…oops, I should be careful with what I…think.' He thought. Then, his brain suddenly switched on.

"Bingo." He said as he switched on his computer.

The Beginner's guide on how to annoy Edward Cullen.

By Emmett Cullen. (His brother!!!)

Think of pervy things everytime you're near him.

Sing the song 'A hundred bottles of beer' in your mind.

Sing the song 'The Song that gets on everybody's nerves' in your mind.

Sing the song 'Barbie Girl' in your mind.

Find out the song he hates, and then sing it in your mind.

Hide Renesmee; warn him that Renesmee is missing, when he's looking for her, laugh at his stupidity.

Tell Edward that Bella dumped him for Jacob.

Bring Ed to the garden. When you see Bella and Jacob talking, tell him that Jacob just proposed to Bella.

Sing 'Doctor, Doctor,' in your mind with Carlisle.

Imagine Carlisle in spandex. (Me: That's hot!!!)

Imagine Bella in a wolf costume. XD

Imagine Renesmee kissing Jacob. Make it realistic looking!

Imagine Bella making out with Jacob. Make it realistic looking!!

Imagine Jasper in a superman costume.

Imagine Bella being run over by a car. (Sorry Bells)

Imagine Nessie having you-know-what with Jacob.

Lock him in the cottage, make the cottage indestructible, bring the whole Cullen family around the cottage, and sing the songs 'Barbie Girl', 'Doctor, Doctor', '100 bottles of beer on the wall', and 'The Song that gets on everybody's nerves' LOUDLY.

Lock Jacob and Edward in a tiny room. Make sure Jacob smells bad to Edward!

Tell Bella to follow Edward around, saying the words 'Annoy Edward!'

Imagine dancing the Macarena your mind.

Imagine Ed dancing the hula with Alice!

Imagine Ed dancing ballet with Rosalie…in a tutu.

Imagine Ed dancing the Macarena with Carlisle, Jasper, and Jacob.

Imagine all the Cullens dancing 'Carameldansen'. (Did I get the spelling right?)

Imagine Edward with his face red, his eyes yellow, and his hair green. Woot!

Scream 'ANNOY' in your mind.

Scream the words 'LETS ANNOY EDWARD' in your mind.

Scream the sentence 'EDWARD HAS JACOB'S DROOL IN HIS PANTS!!!' in your mind.

Stick the words 'Please annoy me…I need to get pissed!' on his back. Make sure words are written on sticky paper.

The most obvious- DO ALL OF THIS!!! Happy annoying!

Emmett sighed with satisfaction. Renesmee came into his room.

"Hey Ness! What's up?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing much uncle Em. My daddy is mad again." She responded in her high, chime-like voice.

Emmett's eyebrows narrowed. "Why is that?"

"Because the thing you were typing…you were mentioning it in your head, my daddy heard it, and became really mad. Now he's smashing your PS3 downstairs."

Emmett's eyes widened. "My…my…my…my P…PS…PS3?!" he bellowed.

"Yep. I can hear him coming up. Good luck uncle Em." She said, leaving the room. Edward came into the room, holding a small rock.

"I warned you Em. I really did, but you pushed my to my limit." He said to Emmett. Emmett's face was scrunched in pain. "But," he continued. "I felt sorry for you and left this." He said, throwing the rock to Emmett. "You're lucky Bella didn't shatter it to rubble." Then, he left.

Emmett looked in confusion at the rock. 'Hang on…small buttons…pure black…square-shaped…no…'

"THIS IS MY PLAY STATION THREE!!! DAMMIT EDWARD, I'LL BE SURE TO GET REVENGE!!!" Emmett shouted. He cradled the rock.

"Oh yes, I'll get my revenge brother…oh yes…isn't that right George?" he asked his now rock PS3.

"You have lost it." Said Jasper, who was officially bothered.

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Me: Woot! I finished it! –parties- What will happen? Will I post a sequel? You decide!


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